During my own baseball days, I once had a coach who asked me whether I enjoyed winning or whether I expected to win. He told me not to answer right away; to think about it, and to be able to explain the rationale behind the answer I was to provide. After the initial few seconds when I was sure this had to be some kind of trick question to which a wrong answer would result in my running laps, I calmed my mind and thought about it for a bit. I actually thought about it longer than that, taking my thoughts with me back to my hotel room, where I wrote down my response on a notepad, replete with the requested rationale included.
I always expected to win. My belief was that if one merely enjoys winning, it must be because victories are too rare, losses too common. I felt that becoming too familiar with losing, save for the victories to be enjoyed, could make a player lose his edge. Expecting victory, though, would build better habits I reasoned.
This same coach then subsequently asked me whether one should accept failure or whether one should merely deal with failure. My answer at the time was that, particularly in baseball, a sport where the best hitters fail seven out of ten times and where the best pitchers surrender a run every three or four innings, one should become very good at dealing with failure.
Looking back now, I do not disagree at all with the answers that I gave to my coach. I do, though, believe that if asked the same questions now my respective answers would be more layered. I still do expect success in any endeavor that I happen to undertake, but with each victory, I do celebrate a bit. I’ve learned that victories, even when expected, are to be cherished. And, I do believe that one should never accept failure at all. However, one must learn to not only deal with failure, but to anticipate it from time to time. Law of averages, you know.
The point to the above, quite simply, is that there are both ups and downs in sport. As a young player, or as a parent / coach to a young player, you have to remember this. So, during your drive toward being recruited by or toward earning a scholarship to a college or university, you should expect victories. You truly should, as confidence does breed success. But my goodness, do savor your victories. Keep a scrapbook, or a video archive, or a journal. Do or keep something to commemorate. At the same time, though, you must anticipate the occasional failure, much like you would those annoying speed bumps that have a tendency to pop up in the midst of a seemingly open road. And if in these latter detours you can find something positive upon which to build, then these failures actually become moral victories, which should further serve as the fuel to propel you ever forward.
DISCLAIMER: Big E is not a licensed guru. He did, though, find enlightenment several years ago during a hunting trip in rural Canada. Enlightenment, however, was merely the name of some gal who lived with other Hippies on this campsite up there. Much to Roger Clemens’ chagrin, they were all vegans.